


Violet Eyes

by ElvaDeath



Series: The World of Asano Gakushuu [2]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Asano Gakuhou's A+ Parenting, Asano Gakushuu Needs A Hug, Depressed Asano Gakushuu, Depressing, Heavy Angst, Sad, Sad Ending, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Why Did I Write This?, just a bit sad really, lots of death, there's a huge lack of tags for this so I'll just leave it at that, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:33:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22526365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvaDeath/pseuds/ElvaDeath
Summary: Gakushuu's life is a mess, and the only person who's putting up with him anymore is Ren. When all is lost, Karma finds him.Do not go into this expecting good times. The Karma/Gakushuu tag is just sort of there, nothing much actually happens in this with that. If you like heavy angst and depressing stuff, this is definitely your thing.- E.D.
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Series: The World of Asano Gakushuu [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657669
Comments: 5
Kudos: 60
Collections: Asano Gakushuu Centric





	Violet Eyes

**Author's Note:**

> I have a free morning, and what do I do with it? Write really depressing fanfictions!
> 
> Perhaps at some point in the future I'll actually make a happy one, but for now, try to enjoy this angstfest. Gakushuu is my child, and I love him, but his emotional state is always too much of a mess in my head. There's about a million ways his life could go wrong after assclass.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> \- E.D.

“Jus’ one more..” He slides his glass over to the pleasantly fuzzy bartender, who gives him a worried look.

“Are you sure? You might not be able to walk.”

“More!” He slams it down awkwardly, almost knocking it over as he lets go. The bartender rushes forward to save his poor glass, swiping it away from him.

“Fine. As long as you have the money.”

He slaps down a little more than necessary, and the bartender takes it reluctantly. Within a few moments, he has another drink in front of him, and carries on wallowing in his drunken haze. Other nights, he would watch the men walking past, pick which ones he would take home and which ones he wouldn't. He never actually takes any of them home, seeing as how he barely makes it home himself most nights.

The bartender gives him another wary glance, and Gakushuu Asano starts to wonder at exactly which point his life fell to shit. Only a few years ago, that man would have been practically bowing to him, worshipping his almightiness. Now he knows he’s just another drunken sod to him, another money machine. It’s a shame. The bartender is kinda cute now that he thinks about it.

Ugh. Ok, maybe he’s sunken as low as he can get, but he’s not about to start hitting on the bartender of a bar called ‘Bar’. It’s about as unimaginative as you can get. All he can think about it introducing the man to Ren, saying ‘and I met him at a bar called ‘Bar’’, and Ren’s face slowly morphing into disappointment. Not that Ren has any business judging him. Yeah, fine, he’s letting Gakushuu stay at his apartment, and he’s feeding him, but Ren has no business sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong!

He should tell him that. He’s gonna tell him that. Fumbling into his pocket, he pulls out his cracked phone and sends Ren a text.  
‘U have no dbbusseness tellfinsg me whatt i can dddso’  
There. Sent. Perfect. That should stop Ren judging him for getting with a bartender from a bar named ‘Bar’. Not that he’s going to anyway. Ohhh no, this is making his head spin.

He gets to his feet, draining the rest of his drink. “See ya tomorrow!” He yells to the bartender, who smiles half-heartedly. As Gakushuu stumbles out, the bartender cleans out the glass, praying that he doesn’t.

Bing!

He pulls out his phone again, putting all his concentration into not dropping it, and sees the reply from Ren.  
‘Tell me where you are and I’ll pick you up.’

Oof. Proper grammar and everything. That must mean he’s annoyed, so perhaps it’s best to stay away from him for now. He should send Ren somewhere else, so he can sneak in without being yelled at again.

‘rainbpw laaaadn’

Smart. Ren will have no idea.

‘I’ll be waiting for you when you get back.’

Damn. Now he can’t go back, or else Ren will definitely yell at him, and-

Sprinting, he reaches the edge of the park just in time to retch into the bushes there. Hands on knees, breathing heavy, he wonders faintly how the animals there feel about it. He could have accidentally killed a bug. Oh well, he’s always hated bugs anyway. They remind him of the Chairman’s stare, which he can still sometimes feel on his neck.

He recovers, grimacing at the stink from the bushes. This is always the worst part, the point at which he has to go back there and deal with it all. He’d rather not tonight.

Shaking off the image of Ren’s worried face, he slips deeper into the park, and finds a bench within the quieter area. There he lies down, ignoring the discomfort of hard wood on skin, and closes his eyes to watch the blackness instead. The occasional honking of car horns interrupt him, but by this point he’s too pissed to move. Another sleepless night is fine by him. At least then he won’t see the nightmares.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karma hates being in meetings. They’re so stuffy, people droning on about things he really doesn’t care about, so he listens with one ear and dreams about all the ways he could kill them. Old habits die hard. That’s one thing Korosensei never thought about, although he may have written it somewhere in that enormous book Karma’s stuffed under his bed. Years later, and he still isn’t even halfway through.

The other reason why he hates being in meetings is because they always end so late. It’s never a problem for the rest of them, who drive home, but Karma always walks. By the time he’s walking through the park next to his home, it’s almost midnight, and he gets up at six. So he has to make this up by napping continuously, and then they all get annoyed with him for it, despite the fact that it’s actually their fault.

He sees a dark shape in the corner of his eye, and glances over to see someone sleeping on a bench. Another homeless person, he supposes, and begins to walk on when he recognises the hair colour. Strawberry blonde. True, there are many people with strawberry blonde hair, and maybe this shouldn’t be so significant, but he can’t help thinking about the boy from all those years ago. 

He turns back around, approaching him, and takes in the scruffy clothes. Jeans, sweater, and bizarrely, high-heeled boots. The man doesn’t have any bags with him, or even a coat, so he can’t have been on the streets for long. Karma really shouldn’t be looking too deeply into this, yet the man’s face shape reminds him far too much of the boy he once knew, and so he pulls out his wallet and lays some money by the man.

His eyes flicker open, a startling violet, and all the breath is knocked out of Karma’s lungs.

“Fuck are you doin’?” The man frowns at him, speech slurred, and sits up unsteadily.

“Asano?” Karma mutters, staring at him, and the man - Asano - stares back.

“Akabane?”

“Why the hell are you sleeping on a bench?”

“Fuck are you givin’ me money for?”

“Are you drunk?”

“No...” Asano’s gaze moves from him shiftily, and he sways to the left.

“You are.” Karma keeps staring at him, uncomprehending. The last time he saw Asano, the boy was promising him he would dominate the world first. This sweating drunken man sleeping on a bench with vomit on his sweater doesn’t equate.

“None o’ your business, Ak’bane!” Asano stands, stumbling, and turns to march off. He walks straight into a tree and falls flat on his back. He groans.

“God, Asano…” Karma shakes his head, grabbing Asano’s shoulders and hauling him to his feet, keeping his hands on him so Asano doesn’t fall over again.

“Not God! God is dead!” The man declares dramatically, waving his hands about. “It’s Gakushuu. Gakushuuuuuuu!”

Karma winces, certain that his neighbours are being woken by this. “Ok, Asano, you’re coming with me. I’m gonna sort you out.” He leads him firmly by his shoulders to the gate.

“No! Don’ yell a’ meee…” He wails, tripping over himself on the way. “I don’ wanna be yelled at! Ren always yells a’ me, and Chairman always yells a’ me, and mom always yells a’ me, and Ikeda always yells a’ me, and…”

“Who’s Ikeda? And keep your voice down, it’s almost midnight.” Karma rolls his eyes, trying to delight in having a drunk Asano spill all his secrets. But he can’t help the fear that something is seriously wrong seep in.

“Ikeda’s the Chairman’s ol’ student... He killed himself…” Asano’s face crumples, feet slowing down to a miniscule crawl. “Jumped off a bridge…”

Karma, aware of the fact they were still in the middle of a road, decides it’s easier to pick Asano up. And it is easier, far easier than he would have expected, since Asano feels like he’s just skin and bones. Pushing that added worry to the side of his brain for a moment, he jogs the final few steps and drops Asano outside his door, unlocking it with his keys.

“And I know it’s my fault, cause it’s always my fault…” Asano whispers, stumbling inside and collapsing on the sofa. He’s crying now, actual tears, and Karma’s brain is whirring in confusion because he’s never seen Asano cry before, never in the entire time he’s known him.

“Asano… What happened to you?” He sinks onto the coffee table, watching the man break down in front of him.

“All I ever wanted was to be good enough…” He sobs, curled up. “But in the end i’ didn’t matter, ‘cause I was just another Ikeda. I don’ wanna die, Ak’bane. I don’ wanna die, but every time I close my eyes they all wan’ me to go away, cause it’s my fault they’re all dead. Ikeda killed himself ‘cause the Chairman was busy with me. Mom died having me. Chairman died after a stroke ‘cause I wasn’t there, I’d left him to die alone ‘cause I was angry. Ren died because I pushed him. I was drunk, and he was yelling, and I pushed him, and he fell, and I never saw the car coming, and now he’s dead. I don’ wanna die! I don’ wanna die but I can’t live!”

“Shh…” Heart thumping, Karma reaches forward and lets Gakushuu cling onto him, tears leaking onto his shoulder, soaking his shirt. “You don’t have to die. You won’t die, ok? I won’t let you die.”

“I’m gonna die. You’re too late…” Asano fumbles in his pocket, bringing out a half-empty vial of sap. “Oleander. I put it in my drink.” His hands shake, fingers fumbling, and the vial shatters against the floor. “I don’ wanna die…”

“God- Asano!” Karma stares at the shards littering the ground. “Why?!”

“But I don’ wanna live..”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Asano’s funeral is quiet. Old friends of his father’s, the remainder of the Virtuosos, and some of Karma’s friends show up. No speeches mention further than his education. Noone knows further than his education, and Karma can’t help but wonder if that’s why Gakushuu is dead.

He’d tried to save him, but the doctors told him that there was no way he could have been saved, even if Karma had taken him straight to the hospital after finding him. No matter what Karma could have done, gakushuu would still be dead.

He didn’t want to die. Karma can’t help repeating the words in his head, over and over, as his ashes are scattered over the park near his childhood home.

‘I don’ wanna die!’  
‘I don’ wanna die!’  
‘But I don’ wanna live…’

If Karma had found him earlier, could he have saved him?

‘You’re too late…’

If Karma had kept in contact with him, instead of disappearing off, could he have stopped him from falling so far down?

‘All I ever wanted was to be good enough.’

He’ll never know. He’ll never know exactly why Gakushuu did it, why Gakushuu had decided that was the night. He’ll never understand why Gakushuu hadn’t looked for anyone to help him. And worst of all, he’ll never be able to ask Gakushuu, because he’s dead, and he’s never coming back.

Violet eyes turn dull in his dreams, and burn away to ash.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't actually know how oleander works, don't kill me if I got it wrong please!
> 
> In case you have any confusion about the Ren thing: He was imagining the texts he got. In reality, he just stayed in Ren's old apartment after his death, and imagined that Ren was still alive and doing what he usually did. That's also why he was so thin, because Ren wasn't there to get food.
> 
> If you need it, here's a tissue. *Hands one over*  
> I apologise.


End file.
